


Part One: The Keys [Nomin AU]

by misawrites



Series: Free Fall: A Christmas Trilogy [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Christmas, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 06:09:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17115905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misawrites/pseuds/misawrites
Summary: Jaemin had been living abroad ever since he started college. He hasn’t gone home to Korea even on special occasions, not even once, because of something that happened from the past.But this year, he did.And upon doing so, he didn't know if it was a good idea after all.





	Part One: The Keys [Nomin AU]

**Author's Note:**

> What happened in the past: Jeno and Jaemin are childhood friends, together with Donghyuck. Jaemin developed feelings for Jeno as time passed by. One day, Donghyuck confessed to Jaemin, only to be rejected since the boy didn't like him back. When Jeno found out about Hyuck's feelings towards Jaemin, he turned Jaemin down when the boy confessed. He thought, Jaemin deserved better. And by better, it means it's not him.

It’s winter.

 

The cold breeze of December brushed through his pale skin as he got out of the cab in front of a two-storeyed house.

 

 _Na residence_. The gate reads.

 

A woman in her mid-40s with a petite figure and brown hair that is tied up in a bun came running as he closes the gate before him. She enveloped him in a tight hug as tears stream down her face. “Oh my god, I’ve missed you so much.” She cried.

 

He chuckled, giving their embrace a little squeeze. “I’ve missed you too, mom. Feels good to be actually hugging you instead of just imagining it.”

 

His mom could only laugh in between sobs.

 

His family’s excitement upon his arrival was evident that when he entered the house, a huge banner that says “WELCOME HOME OUR BELOVED JAEMIN” and a feast awaits him.

 

“Surprise, surprise!” His mom cheerfully exclaimed. “Did you like it?”

 

He hugged her by the side and smiled. “I love it. Did Injunnie made the banner?”

 

“He did. You know, your brother and I was supposed to surprise you together. But then, he’s currently over at a classmate’s house because they need to finish their thesis. Also, we thought you’d be arriving by night?”

 

“I was supposed to, but my flight got moved to an earlier schedule.” He puts his bag down and sat on the couch. “That’s a shame. I wanted to see him tho.”

 

“Well, I could tell him you’re already here.” His mom shrugged.  “Trust me, when he finds out, he’ll be here in a blink of an eye. He misses you that much.”

 

He smiled. “There’s no need. I could wait.”

 

His mom cupped his face and squished his cheeks. “Look how you’ve grown.” Her expression turned soft. “You have no idea how much I’ve longed for this moment. I wish you’d never have to leave again.”

 

Rubbing his thumb on his mom’s hand on his face, he bitterly smiled. “Me too, mom.”

 

Upon entering his room, the scent of lavender welcomed him. _I gave her a humidifier as a gift for her to use as aromatherapy so it would lessen her stress, but she used it for my room instead_. He shook his head, smiling.

 

He started taking his things out of his suitcase and arranging them in his cabinet. Once he was done, he scanned through his room. _They didn’t change a thing_. His room still looked like how he left it. Not until he noticed something on top of his vinyl collection.

 

“Huh.”

 

Just when he was about to go look, the door swung open.

 

“NANA!” It was Renjun. The boy ran up to him as he jumps to give him a bear hug. “I missed you! I missed you! I missed you! I missed you! I missed youuu!”

 

He laughed. “Injunnie, I missed you too but you’re clinging on my neck too tightly, I just might end up dead.”

 

“Oh!” Renjun immediately let go. “Sorry for that.” He looked at his brother endearingly and pinched his cheek. “I can’t believe you’re finally here!”

 

Jaemin lightly slapped off his brother’s hand then pinched both of his cheeks instead. “ _Aigoo_ , my little brother is so cute!” He looked at him from head to toe and gasped. “I can’t believe it! You’ve grown an inch taller!”

 

“Ah, _jinjja_!” Renjun whined in which Jaemin just laughed off.

 

They decided to do some catching up on things that has happened in their lives for the past 4 years they weren’t together, that they weren’t able to tell each other through phone calls and messages. Jaemin’s back is leaning against the bed’s headboard, while Renjun’s head is resting on his lap as they talk.

 

“Is he cute?” He asked while combing Renjun’s hair with his fingers.

 

Renjun mentioned something about a boy who just moved in around their neighborhood that he grew a crush on.

 

“And hot.” He says, dreamily.

 

Jaemin playfully pinched the younger’s nose. “Aw, my baby’s all grown up.”

 

“ _Ya_!” He threw Jaemin a pillow but the latter managed to dodge it.

 

“Kidding! Geez, what a hotheaded.” He laughed. “But seriously tho, have you ever even talked?”

 

Renjun frowned. “No. I don’t even think he knows I exist. I mean, I always only see him from the window of my room or when I pass by their house while doing errands.”

 

“I pity him.”

 

“Huh? Why?”

 

“Because he doesn’t know how great of a person he’s missing out on.”

 

Renjun got up and tickled Jaemin. “Ah! Shut uppp! Don’t try and make me cry when you just got home.”

 

Laughter surrounded the room as their supposed to be catching up session, ended up in a tickle fight.

 

They got tired and eventually stopped, breaths heavy.

 

“Nana.” Renjun calls him out while they’re fixing the bed after it got messed up.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Oh wait! No! I mean, can I ask you anything?”  

 

“Uh. . . sure?”

 

He stopped fluffing the pillows up and sat on the bed. “Have you. . . . . uh, have you finally moved on?”

 

Jaemin froze on the question. _Have I?_ He asked himself. Despite not being sure about his answer, with a smile, he confidently answered. “Of course I am. It’s been 4 years after all.”

 

The younger sighed in relief and gave him a warm smile. “I’m really happy for you.”

 

It’s the afternoon before Christmas Eve.

 

Jaemin decided to go for a walk around their neighborhood in spite of the freezing weather.

 

He stopped by the park and there he saw, the tree house.

 

_Has it really been 4 years since I left? It doesn’t even look like it aged a day._

 

Closing his eyes, he slowly exhaled. “I wish you were here, dad.”

 

As he climbed up, he noticed the stick figures carved on the side of the wooden door. Touching the cold wood, a hit of nostalgia came rushing in.

 

_I wonder how you’re doing now?_

 

He shrugged the thought off and inserted a black key on the padlock. Once he got inside, to his surprise, the place was really neat.

 

_Do ghosts know how to tidy up places now, too?_

 

He tried to joke to himself in order to wave off his fright.

 

_It couldn’t be mom nor Renjun, right? I mean, only 2 of this key exists, after all. It’s not possible for them to enter._

 

While he was busy trying to decipher the mystery he just came to discover, the door creaked open. He jolted but turned around to see who’s there.

 

With wide eyes, the other person stares at him as if they’ve seen a ghost. Voice shaking, it greeted. “H—Hi.”

 

Jaemin felt nauseous. He wanted to faint.

 

_It’s him. He’s here._

 

The owner of the other key.

 

 _Jeno_.

 

“It’s been so long. It’s good to see you again. . . Nana.”

 

He wanted to say the same. He knows he do. But the mixed emotions he’s currently feeling is hindering him to.

 

Realizing he’s been dumbfounded for quite long, he coughed. “H—Hi. Uh, yeah, it has. Umm. . .”

 

The conversation was cut short. Awkwardness embraced the both of them. Jeno is also hesitating whether he should enter so he remained at the doorstep.

 

Jaemin noticed this so he spoke. “It’s freezing outside. Just, just come inside and close the door.”

 

Jeno immediately complied.

 

They sat on the bean bags, facing each other, not a single one trying to initiate a conversation.

 

Until Jeno did.

 

“How have you been?”

 

He was taken aback. “Oh. I’m—I’m fine.” Fingers fidgeting. “You?”

 

“Miserable.”

 

He looked up at him and that’s when he noticed.

 

_He looks so tired._

 

“Why?”

 

“‘Cause I’ve been making the worst decisions in my life.”

 

Puzzled, Jaemin waited to what he’s gonna say next.

 

Looking at Jaemin straight in the eyes. “Starting when I decided to let you go.”

 

Jaemin’s breath hitched.

 

“But I guess it’s too late to regret that. You must be happy with Hyuck now.” He bitterly smiled as his head lowers.

 

They became quiet for what seems to be eternity until Jaemin spoke. “We never became a thing.”

 

Jeno’s head jolted up. “What?”

 

“I said, we never became a thing.”

 

Bewilderment was written all over his face. “I don’t understand. . . how. . .”

 

“I only went on a date with him once. I tried. It’s just that, I couldn’t feel the same way he feels about me. I can only see him as a friend.” This time, he’s the one looking straight at Jeno’s eyes. A bitter chuckle came out. “Funny, isn’t it? Hearing the same words you once said when you rejected me and pushed me to someone else.” The stabbing pain he felt back then, came back like it only happened yesterday. He still loves him. He really do. The feelings he has doesn’t seem like it’s going away real soon. And that’s the worst part.

 

He averted his eyes to hide the tears forming on the corner of his eyes.

 

Jeno tried to open up his mouth a couple of times, but ended up not doing so.

 

Silence reign once again.

 

Jaemin felt like this isn’t going anywhere, anyway. He stood up, aiming to leave. “Goodbye, Jeno. And Merry Christmas. Pass my greetings to aunty too.” With that, he left.

 

He got home by 6:30 PM.

 

No one dared to ask him what took him so long nor what happened when he went out that made him so gloomy.

 

A faint knock was heard on his door when he was getting ready to sleep.

 

Time check: 7:30 PM.

 

“Nana?” Renjun peeked through the door.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“You’ve got another mail a while ago.” He entered and handed him an envelope.

 

“Another?” He gave him a questioning look as he took the envelope.

 

“Oh, right!” Renjun took something on top of his vinyl collection. It was a pile of letters. “These letters came every December. We don’t know who sent it and we didn't want to open it either since it’s not ours. Mom compiled it so. . .”

 

“Oh.” He scanned through it. 3 letters plus the one he just received.

 

“I’ll leave you be for now.”

 

When the door shut close, he opened each letter and started reading it.

 

Entry: #1

 

_To Nana,_

 

_Hi. It’s the first Christmas that you won’t be here. It’s been a year since you left. It’s been a year since I told you I don’t feel the same way about you and that you’re better off with Donghyuck. It’s been a year since I’ve been regretting everything I said and did that day. I’d say, partly what I told you that day was true. You ARE better off with him. I mean, he’s funny, smart, caring, basically everything you could ever ask for in a person. I could imagine the both of you being boyfriends and eventually getting married anytime soon. Just kidding, I could not imagine that. It would be too painful. Because the truth is? I do love you too. Maybe even too much._

 

_I know. What kind of bullshitry is this, right? Like I clearly rejected you and told you I don’t feel the same. But then all of a sudden, I’m right here, writing you a letter with a confession._

 

_But I had to do it, you know? I had to let you go. ‘Cause I’m pretty much aware that I won't do you any good. I clearly suck at admitting and expressing my feelings. And you deserve better than a bastard who always deny what he really feels and isn’t emotionally stable._

 

_I hope you work out. You only deserve the best._

 

_P.S. Did I tell you that mom is sick? I guess I didn’t. Well she didn’t wanna tell you either. ‘Cause she said you’ll just worry too much. But I think you should know ‘cause you’re really fond of her. Don’t worry! she promised to get well!_

 

_Merry Christmas, Nana._

 

_Jeno_

 

Entry: #2

 

_To Nana,_

 

_I walked past your house today and saw aunty and Renjun putting up some Christmas lights on your roof. Renjun could barely reach it, by the way. Your mom was laughing so hard. I wanted to greet them but I guess that isn’t the best thing to do, considering what happened between us._

 

_I also saw Hyuck posted some pictures online that he’s baking some gingerbread. Are you guys having fun there? I hope you are :)_

 

_Mom is still undergoing medication. It gets lonely here at home most of the time, ‘cause she has to go to the hospital really often for chemo. But it’s fine! At least she’s gonna get better!_

 

_By the way, I was scanning through my stuff last month, when I saw the beaded bracelet you gave when we were still in 5th grade. Do you still remember that? You said you gave me one because you’d like to be my friend since I looked so lonely and I don’t talk to anyone. Haha! You were so cute. You know why I don’t talk to anyone before? That’s ‘cause I don’t like any of them. But you were an exception. How could I not like the person who owns the most beautiful smile?_

 

_Letting you go and giving way to someone else to have you instead was really, really hard. But knowing that he could give you so much more is already enough to keep me at ease. ‘Cause I just want to see that beautiful smile of yours forever. Even if it’s not because of me._

 

_I guess I’d pretty much be in love with you for the rest of my life. Well, it would be an honor._

 

_P.S. I visited the tree house last week. Don’t worry about it! I’ll take good care of it while you’re away. Wouldn’t want anyone to be trespassing such sacred place._

 

_Merry Christmas, Nana._

 

_Jeno_

 

Entry: #3

 

_Nana,_

 

_She’s gone. She lied to me. She promised she’s gonna get better but she didn’t. It fucking hurts. I was hoping so bad, praying so bad, that she’s eventually gonna get cured from that cancer and come home. But that’s not possible now._

 

_It’s been 3 months since she left. And I don’t think I ever did stop looking for her in every corner of our house. She’s everywhere, but beside me._

 

_Your mom was there on her funeral. She hugged me so tight that I cried. Seeing her made me miss my mom more. I miss her so much. Your mom told me to be strong because that’s what  mom would’ve wanted. It’s what I want too. If only I could._

 

_I’m sorry, I shouldn’t even tell you these. It will be Christmas pretty soon and you’re not supposed to get sad on Christmas. I don’t want you to get sad._

 

_But you’re not gonna be reading this anytime soon, anyway. ‘Cause you’re far away. Maybe aunt or Renjun will. But I hope they won’t._

 

_Merry Christmas, Nana._

 

_Jeno_

 

He stopped reading after the third letter because he couldn’t take it anymore.

 

Tears have been flooding his face the whole time he read the 3 letters. He covered his mouth with his hand to prevent a loud sob to escape.

 

_She’s. . . . . . Gone? That’s not true. . . . . . No! It can’t be true!_

 

He remembered telling Jeno earlier to relay his greetings to Jeno’s mom. But how could he? When she had long passed away.

 

Jaemin realized this as he cried harder. He was getting hiccups from crying too hard and was barely catching his breath.

 

_He went through so much for the past years. And he went through it alone. . . . ._

 

He didn’t want to continue reading anymore because it hurts. . . too much that he thinks he’s gonna die of the excruciating pain.

 

But something’s telling him that he should continue. He should read the last one.

 

So he did.

 

Entry: #4

 

_My Nana,_

 

_I heard you’re coming home this Christmas. I’m really glad that you are. Even if I might not get to see you, knowing you’re just near is already enough for me :)_

 

_You might already see the letters I’ve been sending you since the first Christmas you weren’t here. And you might wonder, ‘why is he sending me these?’, ‘why through letters?’ Well, all I could say is that, these letters, I was never really supposed to send it to you. I was supposed to keep it to myself. But then I did because these might just answer the questions that had been going through your head ever since you left._

 

_And besides, you’re the only thing that keeps me sane despite this cruel life haha. Writing you these letters make me feel as if I’m really talking to you. . . even if I’m really not._

 

_And why letters? ‘Cause you’ve always loved vintage stuff. You used to say how it would send butterflies to your stomach and how it would melt your heart if you receive one. I tried._

 

_While reading this right now, it might already be around, I don’t know? 8 in the evening? With your eyes swollen and your nose runny, you’re probably thinking twice whether you should call me now or not. ‘Cause I never changed my number. You know I won’t. But then you’d get tired of thinking and just put on your coat to go outside to come to the tree house and well maybe. . . see me?_

 

_But then when you walk out the door, you’ll see me outside your gate, hands in my pocket ‘cause it’s freezing outside. I know I said it’s fine with me if I don’t see you. But I could try, right? Then you’ll run up to me and I don’t know, maybe hug me? Or I guess not haha._

 

Jaemin didn’t finish reading the letter and immediately looked at his phone to see what time is it already.

 

9:30 PM it reads.

 

“Shit!”

 

He took the letter with him and sprinted downstairs and outside the house.

 

There he saw, Jeno, wearing a thick coat, with his Jet black hair covered in snow, hands in his pocket, and his head hanging low.

 

As soon as he ran up to him, his tears started streaming down his face again. “ _Ya_! Are you crazy? Did you really wait that long out here in the cold? What if you get sick? What if you get hypothermia and. . . and die.” The last sentence came out a whisper. “You’re so stupid! I. . . I hate you. . .”

 

Jeno’s head lift up. His face was pale as he smiled. “You came. But. . . . . you forgot to put your coat on.”

 

“That’s ‘cause you’re stupid.” He said, wiping his tears off.

 

“I know.” He took off his coat and placed it on Jaemin’s shoulder. He removed Jaemin’s hands from his face and wiped his tears away with his thumb, cupping the boy’s face. “Stop crying. I hate seeing you cry.”

 

But then he only cried even harder. He hugged Jeno so tight as he bury his face on his neck. “I hate you so much.”

 

Jeno laughed. “I missed you. I’ve been wanting to hug you the moment I saw you. Did you read the whole thing?”

 

He sniffed. His face still buried on the other’s neck. “And what? Let you stay out here longer? No way. And take your coat back, you’re freezing.”

 

“Not anymore. You’re keeping me warm, anyway. Just don’t let go.” Jaemin hugged him even tighter, he chuckled. “But seriously, read the whole thing.”

 

“Fine.” Still not letting go, he unfold the letter once again and continued reading.

 

_All these years I’ve waited. And I still continue to. ‘Cause waiting isn’t the hardest part. But the fact that I can’t be with you is what._

 

_I love you, Jaemin. I love how you used to drag me to come with you in vintage store hunting. I love how you used to call me after you watch a horror movie because Renjun forced you to. I love how you used to always barge in our house early in the morning just so we could get coffee together. I love how you always likes to show off your vinyl collection and how you danced to every song there is._

 

_I’m sorry I never got to tell you this. I’m sorry I hurt you before._

 

_But I love you, I really do. With all chambers of my heart, with all of me._

 

_Merry Christmas, Nana._

 

_Jeno_

 

Jaemin didn’t noticed he was already crumpling the paper for how tight he was holding it. Jeno’s sweater is soaked with his tears, but the other didn’t mind.

 

Jeno hugged him as tight. “I love you, Na Jaemin.”

 

He lifted his head from being buried on Jeno’s neck and without wasting any second, he pressed his lips against the other’s.

 

The kiss was passionate and gentle with a hint of longing. It was their first. And they’re each other’s first.

 

When they pulled away, smiles formed across their faces. Jaemin sniffed and chuckled. “Gosh, I hate you so much.” Jeno chuckled as well. “I love you too. Ever since you caught me in your arms when I fell from a tree, trying to get my shuttlecock. I caught feelings for you too.”

 

“I actually thought you were one clumsy child.”

 

“Shut up. You love me.”

 

He planted a kiss on Jaemin’s forehead. “I do. I very much do.” Jaemin flashed him his sweet smile. “Would you like to be my boyfriend?” He suddenly asked.

 

“I’d love to.”

 

With that, they shared another long intimate kiss under the moonlight, as snow continuously fall and the cold breeze embraces the both of them.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading it! Please give a kudos if you liked it~


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